How to Deal With an Ex Who's Trying to Make You Jealous

Not like this, basically.I would never judge someone for wanting to give their ex a healthy little dose of regret. I mean, that's basically what breakovers and super-hot dates to a mutual friend's wedding were invented for.But there's a difference between hoping to run into your ex looking your very best and watching him eat his heart out, and actively reaching out to your ex to repeatedly say "HA! Look how I've moved on!" Instead of inspiring jealousy, that move is more likely to inspire a) pity and b) a restraining order.Case in point, a reader who wrote in with this question about her ex-boyfriend:
"What should you do when an ex is intentionally making you jealous? Mine continues to email, Facebook, or text out of the blue just to say hurtful things or tell me about new girls he's dating."



Here's my five-step plan for dealing with this. I hope that only step one is necessary, but you never
know.

Step One: Ignore. Don't respond to any of his messages. Don't post statuses about his behavior on Facebook, even if they're vague ("So sick of people who can't let go!"). Don't complain about his contact to any mutual friends. He's trying to get a rise out of you, so the fastest way to get him to stop is to not let it have any effect on you.

Step Two: Keep ignoring. When he doesn't get the reaction he's hoping for, his first instinct may be to act even crazier. Maintain the original plan, and eventually, it should fade out.
Step Three: Limit his ability to contact you. Block him on Facebook. Mark his email address as spam. If he's really bothering you, you might want to consider changing your phone number or email address, but that's a pretty extreme move that might be a big inconvenience for you. It should be a last resort if ignoring him for a while doesn't stop the behavior.
Step Four: I certainly hope it never comes to this, but if at any point, you feel like he's actively harassing you or heaven forbid, threatening you, report it to the authorities. From what you've said so far, that's not necessary now. You don't need to report him for texting you "Just went out with Jane. She's a lingerie model with beer-flavored nipples," except maybe to the Big Babies and Liars Police Force. But seriously, if at any point it turns ugly, seek help.
Step Five:
Do NOT get back together with this guy. I sense from the fact that it's bothering you enough to write in about it that you may have lingering feelings for him. You may take his attempts to make you jealous as a sign he's not over you, which might be true. But: Someone who tries to hurt you this deliberately after a breakup is not the kind of person you want to be with again. Breakups can show people's true colors, and unfortunately for this guy, his color is an ugly shade of dbag.