20 Important Relationship Rules That Are Often Ignored
1. Be Honest.
Be nice, but be honest. Trust is vital. Trust is gained through honesty.
2. Compromise.
There’s a
complexity to compromising. With gender roles ever evolving it’s
important to recognize
it’s not about who wears the pants. It’s about
balance. Compromise is an inherent part of a relationship. You will have
to sacrifice in a relationship. That’s the nature of relationships. If
you want your way all of the time, stay solo. It’s about finding a
healthy balance in compromise. Both people in a relationship must
understand that necessity of compromise and sacrifice in a relationship
to make it work.3. It’s healthy to argue.
It’s healthy to bicker. It’s not healthy
to have screaming matches. Some couples brag about “never fighting.”
That’s nothing to brag about. It probably means that one of you is
holding something in.
4. It’s not your job to fix the person you love.
You can’t fix them. You can only help them
fix themselves. You can’t resolve their work issues or wipe away all of
their insecurities or get their parents back together. All you can do
is be there for them and help them through it. Getting frustrated about
your inability to fix your partner will agitate their struggles and
strain your relationship.
5. Understand your significant other’s background.
It is important to recognize the person
you’re with has not always been that person. They’ve gone through things
to make them that person. Appreciate and understand their past. Put
them in context. Maybe he doesn’t express his feelings because his
family is not particularly expressive, or maybe she is so insecure
because her ex was very critical. Be conscious of this.
6. Do not underestimate the power of thoughtfulness.
Listen.
Pay attention. There is nothing more meaningful or memorable than
mentioning something in passing and then having your partner bring it
back up later.
7. Do not limit expressions of love to grand gestures.
It’s
impossible to keep up. Fancy dinners or luxury vacations are wonderful,
but love does not have a dollar value. If given the option between a
weekly sunset walk or an annual vacation, the majority would pick the
weekly walk. Money does not show love. Gestures show love. A free
gesture also holds value.
8. Take all advice with a grain of salt.
Rule #13 stands, nobody knows your
relationship. Advice/tips can help, but only you and your partner know
what’s right for you and your partner. Don’t take any outside material
as an absolute truth.
9. Research.
If you have a relationship question or
need advice, the internet/books can be helpful tools. There is nothing
wrong with getting some perspective and advice from outside sources.
10. Value each other’s interests.
If you have different interests, which is
perfectly fine, make sure you value what their interests are. Even if
vintage airplanes or nail art don’t interest you, do your best to pay
attention and have respect for what your partner likes.
11. If you are not getting something you need, ask for it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. Your partner is not a mind reader.
12. Do NOT get your sex tips from Cosmo.
13. Nobody understands your relationship.
And you don’t understand anyone else’s. There are no exceptions to this rule.
14. Follow the Harry Burns Airport Rule.
Do not stop
doing things you used to do in the beginning of the relationship. If you
used to take your guy/girl to the airport, still take them. You should
never stop trying to show your significant other that you care. Nothing
is worse than hearing “How come you never ____________ anymore?”
15. Spite will get you nowhere.
If the other person hurts you in a
relationship, hurting them back on purpose will likely destroy your
relationship. If you feel the need to “get back at” the person you’re
with, you shouldn’t be with them.
16. Split the bills.
Relationships should be even or close to
even. It is not a romantic idea, but it is fair. Communicate about what
you each feel comfortable with. No one person should put more effort
into a relationship than the other, so no one person should put more
money into a relationship. It will allow resentment and discomfort to
build.
17. Accept that no one is perfect.
It’s about finding the right person, not
the perfect person. The perfect person doesn’t exist. Everyone has
flaws. Everyone makes mistakes. Prince Charming probably had one beer
too many on occasion. Cinderella probably spent too much on shoes.
18. Don’t be afraid to have the tough conversations.
If the relationship is strong and going
somewhere, you should bring up the tough stuff. If you’re falling in
love but have some concerns, bring them up sooner rather than later.
It’s difficult to have serious conversations but it’s better to discover
deal breakers earlier on.
19. Trust your instincts.
If you feel in your gut something is
wrong, bring it up. 9 times out of 10 your instincts are correct and
ignoring them will get you nowhere.
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